Little Girls and Relaxers

(My youngest daughter, Jerney)
My earliest memories of getting my hair styled include me in the kitchen next to the stove, wincing as my mother sizzles through my hair with the hot comb. Yep, I'm from the old school, back when electric flat irons weren't even an option. Since I hated having my hair flat ironed and made it more of a chore than a quick and easy styling session for my mother, she went ahead and relaxed my hair--because that's what most black women did to their daughter's hair back then.

Of course, I had no notion of the dangers in having my hair relaxed, and it wasn't until I was in fifth grade, seeing a peer walk the hallways with her head down after having her edges burned away from a perm application, that I realized the very thing that straightened my hair and made it "pretty" could also really hurt me. In my childs mind I remember thinking myself lucky that my mom had never done that to me. Little did I know that even though my scars weren't visible, they were still there. My natural hair had been altered, the root, the shaft, the cuticle, everything was scarred.

When I turned 21 and entered cosmetology school, I began to learn about caring for natural hair and all of the negative things that chemicals do, not only to your hair, but to your scalp as well. I decided right away that I was stopping with the relaxers and that I would NEVER relax my daughter's hair. It just wasn't an option.

Lately, I've been in contact with mother's who are eager for their child to turn a certain age so that they can get their hair relaxed. I've heard many reason's for this, from manageability, to time consumption. I'm the type of person who wants to yell "Don't do it. Reconsider, read some liter-ature." But since it is not my child, I say instead, "Really?" and them try to give the mother some other options. Sometimes it is hard for me to bite my tongue, but more than anything I don't want to push my opinions on anyone else, especially when it comes to their child. I, myself, am fairly new to this and I'm still learning. Many women of color, have not the slightest clue of the fall backs of relaxers, or how to deal with natural hair. Not very long ago, I was just as uneducated in natural hair as well.

If I had a magic wand, I would wave it and make it so that all women with little girls who were considering relaxing their hair would know how to take care of the beautiful natural hair that their child has. But that's not possible, so instead I sit here typing my thoughts on it and hoping that at least one mother facing this situation comes across my little post and maybe changes her mind.

Product Spotlight: Herbal Essences

After chopping off a good amount of my hair to get rid of heat and chemical damage, my remaining hair was a little dry and in serious need of moisture. I have been using coconut oil and it works well, but is a little heavy and weighs my hair down. I needed something that I could wash out and still retain moisture. After reading about Herbal Essences Hydralicious and Totally Twisted line on a few blogs, I decided to try it.

Last night I washed with HE Hydralicious Reconditioning Shampoo, and conditioned with HE Totally Twisted Curls and Waves. Hydralicious is a thick, creamy blend with a mild, somewhat bubblegum scent. After rinsing, I followed up with Totally Twisted conditioner, which also has a light bubblegum scent. After rinsing that, I noticed that my curls had popped out. They were well defined, my hair was left soft and manageable. I just wanted to run my fingers through it over and over!

I continued with my normal routine of shea butter and olive oil for my two strand twists, and set my hair on small perm rods using end papers to keep my ends smooth. This morning I took the rods down and untwisted my hair then picked it out for volume.

What I noticed most: My hair is very soft and has a nice shine. My curls are well shaped. My hair is less frizzy than when using Suave Naturals. I will definitely be using HE on a regular basis and I'm going out today to get more of products from the Totally Twisted line!

(Click on pics to enlarge them)


P.S. Please ignore my bag of chips in the background. It was lunch time when I took these pics.

Naptural Inspiration

As mother to two young girls, ages 3 and almost 5, I've dedicated myself to making sure that their hair is always styled to show off its true beauty. Hair washing and styling is a part of my family's Sunday afternoon routine. They have become accustomed to this and look forward to it with excitement. My girls love to look in the mirror after I'm done with their hair and ooh and ah over their neat tresses. They love it when their father compliments them on their hair. I taught them early on that their hair is gorgeous, and that their beautifully curly hair is something to be proud of.

In Hawaii there are many young girls of Asian, Polynesian, Hawaiian, and Samoan ethnicity's and most of those little girls have straight hair. I never wanted my girls to feel as though their natural coils were something that made them different. Instead I wanted them to see their hair as I see it, beautiful! I want them to embrace their culture and represent it in this place where they are very much the minority.

This is why this story I read on Black Girl With Long Hair touched me so. Clifton Green is a professor at Emory University. He is Caucasian and his daughter, Miriam, is Ethiopian. In order to make sure that Miriam always feels her best in her appearance, Clifton took it upon himself to learn how to care for her "curly, coily, bouncy" hair. It is not very often that father's in general take the time to learn how to style and treat their daughter's hair, so that alone is a big plus for me. And his dedication to making sure that Miriam's hair is always at it's best is very heart warming. Read his interview here.

P.S. Just thinking about fathers doing their little girls' hair took me back to the times when my own father would attempt to do mine. Can you say ouch!?

Product Spotlight: AMBI

For the most part, I haven't had to struggle with acne. As a teen I got the normal breakouts at puberty and then a pimple here and there. Into adulthood, my skin cleared up pretty well and aside for being a little oily, I had no complaints up until a few months ago. I had stopped taking BC pills due to the severe headaches they caused me and immediately after stopping them my face began to break out, the most problematic area was my forehead. I guess that the hormones in the BC were keeping me free of breakouts and the Dove White Bar wash I normally did twice a day was no match for this new case of acne.

After trying things that worked for me as a teen and not liking the results, I remembered my dad religiously using AMBI and decided to give it a try. I ordered the Even & Clear Exfoliating Wash and the Even & Clear Daily Moisturizer with SPF 30.

The Exfoliating Wash, I use twice a day, once in the morning and then before bed. It has tiny microbeads that don't hurt, but I can feel them working. After rinsing my face, I follow up with the Daily Moisturizer, which I use very sparingly! The moisturizer is a little heavy, so for my already oily skin, a little goes a long way.

My results so far? I've been using it for a few weeks and I'm singing its praising. My skin tone is noticeably clearer, the pimples that were on my forehead have dried up and are gone. No new ones to report. My face is soft and it has a natural glow that I'm loving. I have no complaints and would definitely recommend this so someone looking for an option outside of the norm.

Starting Over... AGAIN

A few months ago I was loving my hair and everything about it. Unfortunately, I was also applying heat on a regular basis. Because of this my hair suffered extreme breakage in the back. Since February, I've been doing everything I can to nurse my hair back to its once healthy state--the results didn't come fast enough for me so I went ahead and cut it off. Even though the breakage was only in the back, it felt wrong having so little hair in the back and so much everywhere else, so I cut off a good five to six inches, bringing my hair to a short bob.

I'm in the process of getting used to having short hair again, but I do love that all of the terribly split ends and damaged hair are gone!



I'm living and learning. You can find more pictures of this cut on my new Fotki Page.

Natural Sista... Literally.

I have been talking to my little sister, Dallas, about natural hair ever since I went natural back in 06. When I first approached her about maybe giving it a try, she immediately shot me down.

Brie: Dallas, you know I really love my natural hair, I think you should give it a try.

Dallas: No.

Brie: Why not?

Dallas: My hair is too thick. I'm not doing it so don't ask me about it anymore.

Brie: Alrighty then.

Growing up, Dallas had beautiful, THICK, LONG hair. She opted for a short cut once out of high school and kept that style all through college. Dallas graduated in December and since then, she's been hinting at going natural. She began asking me more and more questions about being natural that I answered as best I could without imposing my views on her. I directed her to sites that spoke on natural hair care and told her about products that aided in keeping natural hair at its best.

When she discontinued relaxing her hair, I had the feeling that she was seriously considering going natural. And like a person not wanting to make any quick moves in the presence of a bear--all the while trying to encourage it to look the other way, I kept my opinions to myself, and hoped that she would get there on her own.

And today she did! Her boyfriend, Cory, tweeted the pictures of her Big Chop!

Here is the before:


And the after:


I absolutely adore it!! My initial reaction to the picture was that the cut went so well with her facial structure. And I noticed that she got her brows done too. When I mentioned this to her, she happily told me that her cut and brows were only $20.00! If you go anywhere else in Atlanta besides a barbershop and get a cut and brows done, you're paying $60.00 at the least.

Per Dallas, her initial reaction was that she loved the cut so much that she might just keep it at that length instead of growing it out. I'm sure she will change her mind on that once she gets some more length and can start experimenting with it, though.

I'm just excited that she's happy about it and I look forward to seeing where her natural hair journey takes her!

Paper or Plastic? Why Not Reusable?

I remember spending summers with my Grandmother in Minnesota and going grocery shopping with her. When it came time to check out, she always pulled out her neatly folded, reused brown paper bags and handed them to the bag boy or girl. After we got home and put all the groceries away, we would refold the bags and store them away until our next grocery trip. This to me never seemed strange, and though I still to this day am not sure why my grandmother did this, I know now, intentional or not, she was helping to save the planet in her own little way.

It's been years since I've gone on a grocery trip with my Grandmother and I'm not sure if she still uses her paper bag method for packing her groceries, but that little bit stuck with me through the years and now I incorporate conservation into my own shopping by using reusable shopping bags.

I absolutely love my green bags, not only because they are environmentally friendly, but because they are durable, easy to handle, and hold more groceries than plastic bags. You don't run the risk of having your cans fall through the bag and onto your foot, or even worse, to the ground then proceed to roll away. Unlike paper bags, reusable bags are made from cotton and do not take away from the earth by using trees to make them. Reusable bags are easy to fold and store, come in many cool colors, styles and sizes, and don't shift in your trunk when you make a turn. I can't think of any bad thing to say about reusable grocery bags.

The prices of reusable bags vary. I've seen them as low as .99 and as high as 30.00 I know some of you are frowning at having to pay for a bag when plastic is mostly free and readily available. But think of it this way: If you buy the .99 cent variety, you can take eleven dollars and pay for ten bags, then never have to buy another one again! These bags will take you through hundreds of grocery and shopping trips without fail, and you have the added bonus of doing your part in being green.

For most of us, reusable bags are available at our local grocery stores. For those of us who have a harder time finding them, here are some sites that feature a variety of reusable bags.

1 Bag at a Time: They run great deals, like 5 bags for 4.95. And they have 100% biodegradable bags on sale for 14.99 for a 5 pack.

ENVIROSAX: While their bags are a bit pricier, they have the added bonus of being 100% organic cotton.

Reusable Bags.com: This site has many different bags to choose from. All Eco-friendly. While, the price is a little higher the quality is undeniable. I especially love their String Bag Set.

Please take into consideration that all reusable bags are not 100% Eco-friendly. Bags made from polypropylene, for instance, are made with the use of oil, making them similar to plastic bags. The upside to polypropylene bags, however, are that they are inexpensive and can last up to two years--still doing its part in being Eco-friendly. If you do decide that reusable bags are the way for you to go, then the most green option would be 100% cotton or hemp. But polypropylene does have its place, just be sure to recycle properly if you ever intend to throw them away.

My Natural Hair Journey

My Journey began roughly 6 years ago. I had just left traditional college and entered a technical one for cosmetology. The first thing I noticed was that all of the instructors had natural hair. One in particular had a beautiful curly fro. Her hair had gone gray, so it was mostly threaded with silver, and it was just luscious. These instructors as well as some classmates, along with the things I began to learn about relaxers and other chemicals we put in our hair were my inspiration for going natural.

I stopped relaxing my hair, which at this point was about shoulder length, and began straightening the roots out or stretching them. Eventually the two different textures of my hair (at this point a little below my shoulders) became too difficult for me to handle alone, and I started getting it professionally straightened and trimmed every two weeks. In order to afford this routine, I got a second job as a shampoo girl in the salon so instead of paying 60.00 to get my hair done I paid 20.00. At this point my hair was growing wonderfully. I had about 4 to 5 inches of natural hair and about the same amount of relaxed hair.

(After wash, puff)

Then, my now husband went off to boot camp and I was left alone for three months to take care of our 1 year old. On top of that I had car trouble and I could no longer work at the salon because of its distance from my house. This is where my journey stopped short and I fell off. Since I hadn't really been taking care of my hair on it's own up to this point, I was at a loss as to what to do with it. Every thing I tried failed. My straightening wasn't as good as my stylist's had been and in the Georgia hot and humid months, my hair didn't stand up to the weather. I began two strand twisting it and setting it on rods, this worked for a while but then I became bored with that and, looking for a dramatic change, I cut off the permed ends and was left with a head of thick unmanageable hair. I broke down and permed my hair.

(Twist out)

At the time, I was no longer in school and I didn't know how to take care of my natural hair. It was a difficult time period, I was an emotional wreck and unfortunately I took all that our on my hair. By the time I saw my boyfriend at the end of his boot camp tour, my hair was a mess of mass proportions.

For the next few months I worked on getting my hair back to some form of semblance. It was hard, considering the choppy job I had done on it. Then came the end of the year and I got married and moved to Hawaii soon after. When I arrived in Hawaii, the first thing I noticed was that the climate was wonderful. Little humidity, always a breeze. I thought to myself, now this would be the perfect place to grow out my hair. And I did. We arrived in Hawaii in January and I cut my hair super short, I let the permed tips of my hair grow out and then cut them off and I had a short cropped, curly fro that I loved. From there I kept up with my hair, trying different products and different techniques. When it got long enough, I straightened it, and when I wanted something different I finger coiled it.

I absolutely loved my natural hair, and decided that I wasn't ever going back. Now, there were times when a bad hair week would strike and I'd eye the perm boxes in Wal-mart, but my strength was greater this go round, as I had taken this journey with my hair this time as opposed to letting someone else do all the hard work for me. I pushed through those slumps and learned my hair, and continue to learn it. I try different styles, techniques and products and I make my own mixes. To this point, it's been 3 years and 7 months since I began the second half of my journey and my hair now reaches the middle of my back, a little below bra length.

(Straightened hair, with newly cut bang)

On this journey I've learned a lot about myself and the way I view me. There is a sense of self fulfillment that comes with taking care of my natural hair, and I've been told by my husband that it shines through. The compliments I get on my hair, and the questions from other black women asking me about what it is like to have no relaxer, how did I do it? Hearing them tell me that they want to do it but are too scared of what their natural hair will be like. Being able to tell them my journey and relate my own fears to the ones they are having. All of this only reaffirms my decision to go natural. It was a trip of ups and downs, and I reached my wits ends many times along the way, but the outcome was worth it. I love my natural hair.

Click here for an update of my hair journey.

About Brie, naturally.

I am a 26 year old military wife and stay at home mother of two. I've had natural hair since my second BC in January 2006. After retaining great length, I cut my hair again due to heat damage. I'm starting over, this is my journey.